My Purpose – Is There 1 Clear Thing I’m Here For?
Hi Musers, and for those in the UK happy bank holiday Sunday. No work tomorrow….wooo! I have just enjoyed a heart-stopping Miami Grand Prix and my heart is just bursting for Lando Norris! Well done young man, you deserve your maiden win 😃 However, the purpose of this blog is to explore me and my purpose, not Lando Norris’.
As regular readers will know, I’m currently in therapy to deal with past trauma that is still harming me and holding me back in life. I am hugely grateful for the fact that I’ve been able to access long term psychotherapy for free on the NHS but it is only one session per week. I feel like I need to do more work alone, so I have also been working my way through the tarot spreads book from The Tarot diagnosis.
So far, I’ve done 2 card spreads to learn about my inner child, my passions, my obstacles and my current life path, and they’ve all been so illuminating. Today the spread is designed to help my learn about my purpose.
My Purpose – What I Think I Know
When I think about my purpose I have a sneaky suspicion I am not fulfilling it. I believe that I am meant to care for people in some way and I simply am not doing that. One reason I think this is the case is that a lot of my family are in professions that involve care in some way.
- My mum and dad met when they were training to be nurses
- On my mum’s side she has 5 sisters…my aunts Claire and Finuala were both teachers
- Imelda (my late aunt, RIP 😢) worked for Barnados a charity for young people
- Saran is a social worker
- Geraldine works in home care
- I think at least two of her 4 brothers also work in care
- Her Mum, my grandma, used to work in an old people’s home
I also enjoy helping people. I am a good listener and want to help people solve their problems and be happier. I also have a personality where i like to sort things out and get things back on track. I don’t know what this translate to as I don’t actually want to be a teacher, nurse, care home worker etc. I have considered retraining as a counsellor but it’s such a big change. While I genuinely do cope well with change I also fear it deeply.
I am pretty intelligent and very organised so I would like these elements to be involved in my purpose too but who knows? If I distill it down to its essence I just want to feel like I’m using my gifts.
The Spread
Now we reach the exciting part, the spread! What will my cards reveal and will they match my beliefs? Will I really get enough information from 2 cards or will I need to follow up with a bigger spread later? I always feel the same flutter in my stomach before I consult my cards and even if I’m confused by the draws I still love it.
Here is the spread I will be doing.
The Deck
I admit I had to think long and hard about the deck to use for this spread. My purpose is a big question and I want to use the right deck. In past spreads the deck to use jumped straight into my mind bit not in this case. I stood in my study and stared at all my decks. I was easily able to say no to some decks but none were an immediate yes either.
Here’s my collection 😍
After a lot of thought I decided to use the Fifth Spirit Tarot by Charlie Claire Burgess. I was dithering between it and The Ink Witch tarot but in the end it felt more right. I like it is a deck that is non binary, I want to cast my net as widely as possible when investigating my purpose so this deck seems like the way to go.
My Reading
My Current Purpose – Strength. This is such a beautiful card in this deck. I love Staffordshire Bull Terriers 😍 As with many other breeds they get a bad rap but if you raise them right they are total sweethearts. In this case the strength of this card is an internal strength. I don’t have to be outwardly tough or able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Instead I need to allow myself to be vulnerable and face the parts of me that I’ve pushed to the back. The memories that heart, the parts of myself that i hate.
At the moment, my purpose is to heal. That will likely involve sitting with uncomfortable feelings and digging through a lot of crap. The only way out is through, regardless of how difficult it is. That’s why my purpose is Strength.
Teaches Me – The Magician. Wow, a second major arcana! I think the message here is quite simple. I hold the power, to create the life that I want, to go down the path I choose and embody my true purpose every day. I already have what I need inside of me, it’s just a matter of believing it and learning how to activate my power.
I love this image as we see a black woman working as a scientist and crafting her potions and chemicals. The bottles in front of her hold the symbols of the suits reminding me that I must use and integrate them all to make a combination, a magic potion that is uniquely mine. I can craft who I am and where I am going, I just need the strength to see it through.
What’s Your Purpose?
I hope you enjoyed my spread and if you decide to try it yourself please let me know how you get on. I’d love to hear what you learned about your purpose too. If you have any comments please pop them below and until next time be sure to take care you yourself xx
