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Body Liberation / Mental Health

Weight Gain And Childhood Trauma – The Horrifying Truth.

Let’s talk about weight gain and childhood trauma, and how the two are related.

Most of society sees people in large bodies, and in particular morbidly obese people, as lazy, greedy, undisciplined, and completely lacking in willpower.

You only need to watch an episode of My 600lb Life to see that. This is a show that revels in its participants’ fatness and defines them by it. There is no discussion of any of the things that might make them amazing people; they’re fat, they’re disgusting, and that’s it.

Enter Trauma

One thing it does show, however, is the fact that every single participant suffered some sort of abuse when they were younger. Every. Single. One. A large number were subjected to sexual abuse and/or rape. Some had physically abusive parents. Others had parents who were using drugs and were physically abusive, verbally abuse, or allowed their children to see them being abused.

If the percentages were lower, it would be easy to argue that that isn’t the cause. If only 50% or 60% were abused, then what was the cause for the rest? It’s not, though. Every single one of them suffered abuse and describes turning to food because of it. This is in line with my own experience.

I grew up in a home with two chronically, often severely, depressed parents – my mother and stepfather. My stepfather was verbally and occasionally physically abusive. He would fly into rages, break things, scream in our faces. We’d all constantly walk on eggshells, afraid of setting him off. While I appreciate others have it worse, it was far from a fun environment to grow up in.

Weight gain and childhood trauma are linked

Bullying

As well as being verbally bullied at home, I was at school too to varying degrees. I found it almost impossible to make friends, and I would do literally anything to get out of going. Needless to say, my self-esteem and education both suffered. Even now, I find it hard to meet new people. I assume they’re not going to like me and try extra hard to be funny and nice. It can be exhausting.

When I was younger, food was my refuge. I liked nothing more than buying two or three bars of chocolate, making a huge mug of tea, and curling up in bed with a book. I was safe. No one could hate me or make me feel bad about myself here. My books were all the friends I needed, and chocolate was my comfort.

I put on a lot of weight. This further ostracised me from the thin, pretty “in” crowd. I stopped caring how I looked, I was fat, and no one liked me anyway, so what did it matter? I barely washed or brushed my hair. I bathed maybe once a week. I was a mess.

During my life since then, I knew emotional eating was a thing and that I was doing it. I just couldn’t stop. It was my only crutch, the only thing I knew would help when I was having a bad day, week, or month. As society trained me, I saw myself as weak and lacking willpower.

My depression worsened. As it did, I wanted to eat more, and so the cycle continued. My experience meant that when I read these studies proving weight gain and childhood trauma are linked it really resonated with me.

Now

I’m happy to say I’ve come a long way from there. I still have depression, but I’m managing it. I have a home, a husband, a sister I’m extremely close to, six gorgeous cats, and a job I enjoy.

I still feel down, or angry, or stressed at times, though, as we all do. I still turn to food. I genuinely don’t know how not to. For me, weight gain and childhood trauma are inextricably linked.

Weight Gain And Childhood Trauma – The Data

The CDC

Believe it or not, there’s a lot of data that supports this position. Why don’t we know about it? That’s easy; fatphobia is rife in our society.

The thin agenda that has roots in both racism and misogyny makes a lot of people a lot of money. It also perpetuates the oppression of women, and particularly queer black women. It isn’t just about weight; it’s a battle on a lot of fronts.

So…the data.

Check the data

If you’re thinking I’m going to be referencing small universities you’ve never heard of, you’d be wrong! Let’s start with the CDC, yeah, the actual CDC. They have been running an adverse childhood experiences (ACE) study, which is still ongoing.

They have found that more than six million obese and morbidly obese individuals in the study have suffered some form of abuse in childhood. This can be sexual, verbal, physical, neglect, or, more often, a mixture of the two.

This study initially started at an obesity clinic, and the impact of childhood trauma on the likelihood an abused child will smoke, drink, get STDs, have an unplanned pregnancy, and gain weight is staggering. Weight gain and childhood trauma are linked. Period.

Karolinska Institutet

In Sweden, researchers working at the Karolinska Institutet analysed meta-data collected in a number of studies. In total, they included over 112,000 participants. They concluded that data confirmed that if a person is subjected to abuse as a child, they are substantially more likely to become obese later in life.

Duke University and University of Texas

What is even more interesting is that this appears to be more than a psychological problem; it’s a physical one too. The research team from these universities found that childhood abuse can inhibit the brain’s ability to process rewards, making it harder for those affected to feel positive emotions.

Do you see now why people might become obese? Seeking larger amounts of food and drink to process the same safe, happy feelings a thinner person would with less food.

We’re Not Just Greedy!

I have been fighting for a long time to make people realise how complex the issue of weight is. How many factors are involved. The sad thing is that these studies have hardly received any publicity at all.

Governments are worried that if people know their weight issues are caused by trauma, they’ll ask for therapy which will cost money. Diet industries see their billions disappearing. People who have nothing else to feel superior about don’t want to lose this easy target to make themselves feel better. It can feel like no one cares.

crop woman with heart on palms

A Plea

I write this blog because I love it. I want to help people. All I want is a world of equality, compassion, and love. That’s why I never ask for anything. Today that changes. I’m asking you to help me get the word out.

Share this on social media far and wide. Mention it to friends in conversation. Challenge fatphobic assumptions you find online. Get the word out that fat is caused by a shit ton more than just food. Open people’s eyes and help make the world a better place.

Weight gain and childhood trauma are linked; fat people have been through enough already, so please try to find your compassion and support your fat friends.